autism

Because of the organizing aspect of the senses of individuals along the autistic spectrum they do not necessarily appear tuned in at certain times when in reality they are completely listening and absorbing what is going on.  Do not assume as a caretaker that because they appear spaced out that therefore they are not listening and absorbing information that you might not want them to hear.

I have read that many autistic adults find it difficult to look at someone and have a conversation with them at the same time.  Some actually are so bothered by visual stimulation in general that they find dark glasses useful.  There are even special lenses that are an amber color that are supposed to help with visual disturbances.

They make some really way out birthday parties these days.  From rock climbing to simulated war games nothing is to far fetched.   While these activities may seem awesome and cool for some children, they may end up to be to overwhelming for your particular child.  Your average birthday party may end up to be to overwhelming for your particular child.  Birthday parties with your friends typical kids can be a great opportunity for our kids to be with other children and participate in various social situations, but…not all our kids can handle or enjoy the hustle and bustle of some parties.

It is ok to decline an invitation if you know that a party is not going to work for your child.  A true friend will hear your plight and understand.  You can also go late or leave early if it is something that you would like your child to try.

I was speaking with a friend yesterday who told me that she is keeping her six year-old daughter in overnight diapers because she doesn’t want her son (who has special needs) to feel bad that his younger sister can make it through the night.  I was outraged for this poor little girl and tried to reason with my friend to no avail.  Boy is this kid going to give her therapist an ear-full one day.

Although one might morn for what one child can not do, it is so important to let your other children move on.   The other siblings can show your special one what is going on in the real world.  Our”typical” children have it hard enough dealing with the lack of “normalcy” of having a special needs household.  It is so important for them that they are aloud to experience life in as  typical a way as possible.  To hold them back in anyway just because you don’t want the other sibling to feel bad is doing everyone an in justice.

As a caregiver for someone with autism it may, at times, seem or feel like a thankless task.  It is ok to feel bad when you are not being treated well by your children, whether it is intentional or special needs driven.  It may be very discouraging.  Again, the same goes for parents of typical children.  It is important to let your kids know when they are acting inappropriately even if it is towards you.  You deserve better.    However, when our kids do show us that they appreciate our efforts it means more to us than anyone could ever understand.   

It can be extremely challenging to get our kids to go with the flow, especially because the flow changes all the time.  Many of them get so stressed out when change occurs.  Unfortunately for those of us with busy lives, some things can not have a definite day, time or destination.  So what do we do with our children that have such difficulties processing that this is the way things have to be.  As with other challenges that this diagnosis presents, we just have to work through it.  Sometimes we will be left with unhappy kids but as a parent you have to do what you have to do.  The reprecussions are usually not a pretty site  but in the long run they are learning life skills. Coping techniques are not one of those things that our kids might have naturally.  Explore ways that will work for your child to chill them out.  The flexability aspect of life might need to be explained.(more than once).

I think in previous posts I have discussed my teen-age aspie fishing friend.  He is a walking encyclopedia of all that is fishing.  Luckily, for his parents, they have a creek behind their house where he is able to just go fish his little heart out.  Well,  his mother told me that he just got a very part time job at a local fishing store.  He is in his glory.  He works one afternoon a week and gets to sell,talk and be with fishing stuff.  How many of us would like a job dealing with something we have such a passion for?

While their passions  may need to be limited if interfering in daily tasks, in the work environment they can be the motivator that can provide them with fulfillment and accomplishment.  I know my fishing friend is very happy with his current position.